The Lamentations Of Otigoji

The Lamentations Of OtiGoji II

[commonly called More Whining From The Old Fart]

1. And it came to pass, yet again, that the weird man of Hollywood, that is
OtiGoji, came down from the Caves of Bronson, in the Hills that are in
Hollywood to rant and complain mightily one more time.

2. Walking to and fro in the wretched mess that the Fallen Woman
alt.movies.monster hath become, OtiGoji yet again began to recall the true
Go-Ji-Ra, that is Godzilla, King Of The Monsters, which was in the black and
the white and the shades of gray. The weird man of Hollywood began to smite the
false prophets Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich creation, that is the beast from the
West, that is Culver City, that is Godzilla In Name Only.

3. As there were those, in months past that cried out "Yea, if it is named
Godzilla then verily it is Godzilla." Also there were those who shouted "Only
that Godzilla which riseth from the East, that is To-Ho, is the true Godzilla!"

4. Again I say unto thee, remember not ye those who cursed To-Ho for causing
the Heisei Beast from the East to not appear in the West in the tape that is
video. Remember ye not who causeth Godzilla Vs SpaceGodzilla to appear?

5. Remember ye that in those days many words were spoken against the Godzilla
from the West, that is Culver City, and at the same time many words were spoken
against the Godzilla from the East that was Godzilla Vs. Megalon.

6. Words descended like locusts and frogs upon the newsgroup saying "Look at
this Godzilla!" and "Look at that Godzilla!" Those who were pleased with the
Godzilla from the West set their hearts against the Godzilla from the East.

7. Then came the revelation that the stiff-necked false prophets Dev-Lin and
Em-Mer-Ich were preparing to unleash the Godzilla of the West yet again another
time and soon came the astoniment that the hard-hearted To-Ho had prophesied a
beast of mystery from the East, a Godzilla Millennium. The shapes and forms of
both these prophesied Godzillas were unknown and there was much confusion and
murmuring in the newsgroup from all sides in all directions.

8. Many tongues said Godzilla will fight another beast or that Godzilla will be
a flying beast, and chaos was upon the posting of the newsgroup. Those who had
said much, said little, and those that knew little, said much. Even Barry, High
Priest of the Temple, withdrew to his own counsel and spake little.

9. Many tongues said much but signified little, and after all the words fell
like stones in the passageways of alt.movies.monster, there was naught for the
eyes to see.

10. After considering all these signs, OtiGoji cried out, "To-Ho, why hast thou
forsaken my remake of the Mysterians?" After tearing at the little hair left of
his worried head, OtiGoji sayeth, "Patooey," and, led by the two dogs of truth,
wandered yet once again back up into the Hills that are in Hollywood and the
Caves called Bronson.

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The Lamentations Of OtiGoji

[The Book commonly called the Book of The Old Fart Sniveling]

1. Yet, once again, I saith unto thee, I have walked to and fro in this
newsgroup, and that which I have seen bringeth grief to mine own eyes. I have
seen the wickedness that hath brought down this newsgroup to the mess that left
where ever He-Do-Rah , that is the Smog Monster, hath gone. Yea verily, I saith
unto you this newsgroup like a pit of sludge. Wickedness is upon the threads
and unclean spirits are lain down in the posts.

2. In the olden times, in the days before OtiGoji was visited by vexation,
there was Go-Ji-Ra, that is Godzilla, and only the old ones knew of it, that is
Godzilla. In those olden times there were televisions that were without color,
that is in the black and the white, with many shades of grey. In those days,
without color, that is all things, yea Ra-Don, that is Rodan and even those
masked Mysterians were in the black and the white with many shades of grey.

3. In those olden times, before color, there were those who watched Godzilla
and saw it was good. The horror and fear of the Japanese people was now upon
us, with our wealth and our bounty of food and clothing and streets that were
unbombed we knew not the horror of conventional warfare, aerial bombardment or
that which is the horror of nuclear weapons. By gazing upon the image of
Godzilla we gradually came to know the face of warfare, and all that it taketh
from the many, the innocent and the children.

4. As the years passed, there were fewer and fewer who remembered the warfare
and, the years of fat came and, behold! A television that was in color was
delivered to the houses of many. And as the many saw the television in color,
there were fewer who remember the stark terror that was Godzilla in the black
and the white and the shades of grey.

5. And then there came to the theaters of many the apparition that was King-u
Kong-u, that is King King Vs. Godzilla and many saw the colors and said they
were good. A few of the old ones saw this and proclaimed it stinketh mightily
and hath an odor that none may abide.

6. And after the colors had descended upon the land, many monsters came forth
over the time of decades and generations. The children of these generations
looked upon the Godzilla Vs. Gai-Gan, that is Gigan, and said it was good, and
a generation later there were those who looked upon Godzilla Vs. Biollante and
said it was very good. There were still the few old ones who remembered the
black and the white and the many shades of grey that were the vision of
Godzilla of olden times.

7. For many years new apparitions of monsters were revealed by the tapes that
are as bootlegs and all was well throughout the land. Then word spread from the
east to the west that a new Godzilla that was not Godzilla was prophesied. And
from Culver City came a weird omen that a new Godzilla would rise in the west,
as unnaturally as a new sun rising in the west.

8. Then, there came the false prophets, the two who are Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich,
and behind them stood Centropolis, and behind them stood TriStar, and behind
stood the mighty Sony, whose strength was such that the great were made to seem
cheesy and the mite was made to seem like a behemoth. Confusion befell the
tribes that are G-Fans and there was much confusion in the land. Many Godzillas
were prophesied and many G-Fans fell upon eachother in the confusion and there
was much acrimony. Enough confusion and acrimony to take home in a bag that is
a doggy-bag.

9. The false prophets Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich saith "Look here! Look there! We
respect Godzilla, but Godzilla is not Godzilla!" And, lo and behold, the false
prophets produced a False-Godzilla and saith "Look here! Look there! For our
own False-Godzilla is the real Godzilla."

10. The new False-Godzilla rose from Culver City and descended on the screens
of seven thousand, and madness came over the land like a plague of frogs. There
were those who fled from the screens to the workplace and murmured around the
water cooler that Godzilla who is the False-Godzilla doth stinketh. The madness
of the False-Godzilla brought confusion and acrimony into the land. Acrimony
such as has never been seen before in the newsgroup.

11. The madness continued until there were those who chattered, the Godzilla of
Olden Days, of the black and the white and the shades of grey, the Godzilla who
is Godzilla was unclean, an an abomination to be reviled, scorned and cast out
into the darkness.

12. Verily, verily, I saith unto you that the false prophets crawling out of
the woodwork into the newsgroup are confused and another generation may pass
away until righteousness is restored in the land. Until the return of
righteousness, OtiGoji continues to walk to and fro through the newsgroups, and
the wise will recognize him by the two hounds of truth that preceed him.

13. Verily, verily I saith unto you, stay skeptical, and think twice, sleep on
it, and think yet again two more times. Then think about it.

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