The Lamentations Of Otigoji

The Lamentations Of OtiGoji

[The Book commonly called the Book of The Old Fart Sniveling]

1. Yet, once again, I saith unto thee, I have walked to and fro in this
newsgroup, and that which I have seen bringeth grief to mine own eyes. I have
seen the wickedness that hath brought down this newsgroup to the mess that left
where ever He-Do-Rah , that is the Smog Monster, hath gone. Yea verily, I saith
unto you this newsgroup like a pit of sludge. Wickedness is upon the threads
and unclean spirits are lain down in the posts.

2. In the olden times, in the days before OtiGoji was visited by vexation,
there was Go-Ji-Ra, that is Godzilla, and only the old ones knew of it, that is
Godzilla. In those olden times there were televisions that were without color,
that is in the black and the white, with many shades of grey. In those days,
without color, that is all things, yea Ra-Don, that is Rodan and even those
masked Mysterians were in the black and the white with many shades of grey.

3. In those olden times, before color, there were those who watched Godzilla
and saw it was good. The horror and fear of the Japanese people was now upon
us, with our wealth and our bounty of food and clothing and streets that were
unbombed we knew not the horror of conventional warfare, aerial bombardment or
that which is the horror of nuclear weapons. By gazing upon the image of
Godzilla we gradually came to know the face of warfare, and all that it taketh
from the many, the innocent and the children.

4. As the years passed, there were fewer and fewer who remembered the warfare
and, the years of fat came and, behold! A television that was in color was
delivered to the houses of many. And as the many saw the television in color,
there were fewer who remember the stark terror that was Godzilla in the black
and the white and the shades of grey.

5. And then there came to the theaters of many the apparition that was King-u
Kong-u, that is King King Vs. Godzilla and many saw the colors and said they
were good. A few of the old ones saw this and proclaimed it stinketh mightily
and hath an odor that none may abide.

6. And after the colors had descended upon the land, many monsters came forth
over the time of decades and generations. The children of these generations
looked upon the Godzilla Vs. Gai-Gan, that is Gigan, and said it was good, and
a generation later there were those who looked upon Godzilla Vs. Biollante and
said it was very good. There were still the few old ones who remembered the
black and the white and the many shades of grey that were the vision of
Godzilla of olden times.

7. For many years new apparitions of monsters were revealed by the tapes that
are as bootlegs and all was well throughout the land. Then word spread from the
east to the west that a new Godzilla that was not Godzilla was prophesied. And
from Culver City came a weird omen that a new Godzilla would rise in the west,
as unnaturally as a new sun rising in the west.

8. Then, there came the false prophets, the two who are Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich,
and behind them stood Centropolis, and behind them stood TriStar, and behind
stood the mighty Sony, whose strength was such that the great were made to seem
cheesy and the mite was made to seem like a behemoth. Confusion befell the
tribes that are G-Fans and there was much confusion in the land. Many Godzillas
were prophesied and many G-Fans fell upon eachother in the confusion and there
was much acrimony. Enough confusion and acrimony to take home in a bag that is
a doggy-bag.

9. The false prophets Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich saith "Look here! Look there! We
respect Godzilla, but Godzilla is not Godzilla!" And, lo and behold, the false
prophets produced a False-Godzilla and saith "Look here! Look there! For our
own False-Godzilla is the real Godzilla."

10. The new False-Godzilla rose from Culver City and descended on the screens
of seven thousand, and madness came over the land like a plague of frogs. There
were those who fled from the screens to the workplace and murmured around the
water cooler that Godzilla who is the False-Godzilla doth stinketh. The madness
of the False-Godzilla brought confusion and acrimony into the land. Acrimony
such as has never been seen before in the newsgroup.

11. The madness continued until there were those who chattered, the Godzilla of
Olden Days, of the black and the white and the shades of grey, the Godzilla who
is Godzilla was unclean, an an abomination to be reviled, scorned and cast out
into the darkness.

12. Verily, verily, I saith unto you that the false prophets crawling out of
the woodwork into the newsgroup are confused and another generation may pass
away until righteousness is restored in the land. Until the return of
righteousness, OtiGoji continues to walk to and fro through the newsgroups, and
the wise will recognize him by the two hounds of truth that preceed him.

13. Verily, verily I saith unto you, stay skeptical, and think twice, sleep on
it, and think yet again two more times. Then think about it.