Thanks, Cruftissimo >http://www.cruftbox.com/<

2. Why are "to" and "your" being accepted for "too" and "you're" on the Internet?

I've been busy flying around in a B-17, preparing my appearance in court as an expert witness and writing my commentary for a DVD. Oh, and watching my Sony Bravia XBR 32' LCD HDTV. More HD channels please.

That said ( courtesy of The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator
by Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg http://tinyurl.com/8nfq) is happier-faced than yesterdays demoralizing War Lament, even though I still support the troops.

The next day, I went to Philippe's The Original, home of the French Dip Sandwich http://www.philippes.com/ had a turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee. (Actually, I had something new, I dropped some Philippe's hot mustard in my coffee mug! A Philippe's exclusive, I recommend it.) Eating at Philippe's put me back in mid-century L.A.

The BOOK OF ALRIC, commonly called another rant by OtiGoji
Chap. 1
1. Verily, verily I say unto thee I have met a stranger who brings a message of a multitude of transgressions to this fallen woman of a newsgroup. The stranger hath come down from the land of alt.movies.kubrick and he looked
about the tribulation befallen this newsgroup and he crieth aloud >"I think
Godzilla looks ridiculous. It's not an opinion, folks; it's a fact: Godzilla
looks ridiculous " < I was astonied.
2. After the stranger walked to and fro he exclaimed > "When I was a kid, I
saw RODAN... I was 4 years old." Yea, I considereth his words and wondered
"Can that which is unsavory be listened to without salt?" As if reading my
own thoughts the stranger replied unto me >"But the truth is that Godzilla
movies are already a travesty to the genre of science fiction."< I hid from
the scourge of his tongue.
3. Verily, Verily, I say unto thee the stranger seized upon Boman7757 and
cried out >"This is the first I've heard of this. Is that what you're
saying?"
4. Then the stranger made his way to Barry, High Priest of the Temple of
Godzilla and cried out >"I'm not sure, but I think I've seen the very last one
made, GODZILLA 1990" after Barry applied his ointments and tender mercies the
stranger proclaimed unto him > "I already KNEW that the Raymond-Burr scenes
were added in. I knew that." Barry was astonied
5. Then, as if possessed by The Spirit of the Secret Fairies Show, the
stranger decended into the Cave of the Kaiju-Fan Cult, (that is, those who
prostrate themselves before graven images of the false god UltraMan) and cried
out to them >"I think that the only thing you really have more knowledge of
than me is Godzilla movies."<
6. Yet they were so astonied they became as mute, when suddenly the stranger
began to testify unto them>"I remember one time seeing Godzilla on an island,
kicking a boulder back and forth like a volley ball." The Kaju-Fan Cult were
come out from their cave and began to eat grass like a beast in the fields. I
was astonied.
7. As I wandered the broken streets of alt.movies.monster, I heard the
stranger proclaim unto me> "I will admit that my Godzilla consciousness has
been raised somewhat by this thread ..." I was suddenly filled with an
unclean spirit and prepared to use poor punctuation yet another time when I
heard the stranger enquire>"What was the name of that one, THE BEAST FROM 20 MILLION MILES, or something like that?"
8. Suddenly the scales fell from my ears and, verily I realized this stranger
was none other than the Son Of GOD ERIK.

He liked the ancient writings attributed to me on the old usenet newsgroup alt.movies.monster. (I told you that newsgroup was doomed. ) So he posted the two Laments of OtiGoji and turned it over to me. You owe him for this.

My primary Internet interest is probably Japanese science fiction movies, so I draw your attention to www.scifijapan.com http://www.scifijapan.com so now let us see how this new baby crawls!

If you want to get all up in this blog, you must get the entries out of the recent posts or archives.

1. OtiGoji
May 17 1998, 11:00 pm

Newsgroups: alt.movies.monster
From: otig...@aol.com (OtiGoji) - Find messages by this author

Date: 1998/05/18
Subject: I Have Seen Godzilla (*SPOILERS*) it's long
Reply to Author | Forward | Print | Individual Message | Show original | Report Abuse

I was all ready to post my subjective views, but Aaron J. Smith just sent all the
pertinent details in the JMM News List. Well, I agree with just about
everything the woman reported to him, however, I really liked it. But then, I
like Giant Critter Pictures.
So, since this newsgroup spoiled the movie for me, let me spoil it for you!!
SPOILERS: read on only if you want to see details of this Godzilla
9
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5
4
3
2
1
Let's get this ambulation mode straight. It never walked or ran on all four
legs. It pulls itself out of a hole once, and it crawls in its burrow on its
front legs, but on the surface it never does.Not once! Just about other every
rumor I accidentally read seemed accurate, except for the nonsense from Stevie
Z. (I even think there was monster urination taken out or changed -- see if you
get the same idea in a scene that almost called for urine. I'll come back to
this after more people have seen it.)
The picture of the "maquette" from Barry's Temple is identical to a scene in
the movie, the building in the movie is a little bit bigger. The infamous
real/fake FOTL drawing is identical to a scene in the movie. IDENTICAL I tell
you!!
The photo from the toy show is the monster.
My views on this movie:
THE GOOD: Excellent spfx and photography, all the visuals are great the monster
and monsterlings were excellently designed and animated. Some big scenes had
maybe a few too many helicopters.
The sound is excellent, try to see it in a theater with good sound system. The
story is as good as I expect from a Giant Critter Picture and the pace was
good, much less jarring jumps in time than Deep Impact, for example. There were
(as I predicted) many references and tributes to older monster movies. King
Kong was over the whole thing in spirit. A direct tip of the hat to Ray
Harryhausen, a whole lot of "Beast From 20K Fathoms," a lot of "Them,"
"Alien(s), obviously J.Park and more. I liked the espionage/special ops
sub-plot, too. Importantly, the pace kept the story going, and it seemed to get
better as it got near the end.
THE BAD: The story had some preposterous leaps of faith, there was a lot of
disbelief to suspend. (At the end I had to remember that my car breaks down if
I hit a pot hole, but that taxi!! Such a taxi, I've never seen!!!!) The
scientific explanations were as muddled as any Giant Critter Picture but I
think they intended that ambiguity. I guess they finally decide Godzilla is a
new species.
Patillo tried to do a good job, but... and it looks like Broderick didn't even
try to do more than say his lines for the first hour. He did not try and he did
not do a good job. (My main man Harry Shearer, however, was very good and I
look forward to seeing him in the Truman Picture.) The music was mostly OK, but
way off in a few spots. Ifukube was sorely missed.
THE UGLY: The screenplay! The horror! THE HORROR! The dialogue is just, just
pfft! Nuttin' honey! I think parts of it were supposed to be funny, I gave up
trying to figure out the intent of the banal inanities. Is more of this what we
are going to get? I wasn't too fond of the trite mundanities of Titanic, even
though I liked that movie too. The dialogue was just awful, but I wasn't there
for P. G. Wodehouse on Masterpiece Theater.
Special requirements:
Breath: well it appears to be a little power ray-like, but not the radioactive
breath Godzilla has.
Roar: it's there but diminished and he makes a lot of different, good
vocalizations. (Admit it. Didn't you get a little tired of Godzillas three
basic roars?)
Fins: They are there but diminished.
For these reasons, If it were a True or False question "This Monster is
Godzilla (T) or (F)" I would have to say FALSE! I call this GINO © (Godzilla
In Name Only) but I still enjoyed it a lot and plan to see it several more
times. (Tonight was free, Thanks Sony/Columbia/TriStar & Centropolis: I even
wore a shirt and tie over my Gojira '54 b/w T-shirt) I will keep an expence
account on how much I spend. Oh, I decided not to get a T-shirt. Maybe a
toothbrush or more Reeces Pieces.
One more thing. The monster's design was the Stout-a-saurus! I swear, with the
exception of the diminilshed dorsal fins, it was identical to the model of
Stout's monster I saw. I hope Stout has copyright protection!
Whew, I'm exhausted. Gotta get ready for the midnight show Tuesday.
[GINO © OtiG...@aol.com Enterprises]
OtiGoji
"Everyone remaining in the city was on a 'watch and wait' basis.
The wait was not a long one."

[commonly called More Whining From The Old Fart]

1. And it came to pass, yet again, that the weird man of Hollywood, that is
OtiGoji, came down from the Caves of Bronson, in the Hills that are in
Hollywood to rant and complain mightily one more time.

2. Walking to and fro in the wretched mess that the Fallen Woman
alt.movies.monster hath become, OtiGoji yet again began to recall the true
Go-Ji-Ra, that is Godzilla, King Of The Monsters, which was in the black and
the white and the shades of gray. The weird man of Hollywood began to smite the
false prophets Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich creation, that is the beast from the
West, that is Culver City, that is Godzilla In Name Only.

3. As there were those, in months past that cried out "Yea, if it is named
Godzilla then verily it is Godzilla." Also there were those who shouted "Only
that Godzilla which riseth from the East, that is To-Ho, is the true Godzilla!"

4. Again I say unto thee, remember not ye those who cursed To-Ho for causing
the Heisei Beast from the East to not appear in the West in the tape that is
video. Remember ye not who causeth Godzilla Vs SpaceGodzilla to appear?

5. Remember ye that in those days many words were spoken against the Godzilla
from the West, that is Culver City, and at the same time many words were spoken
against the Godzilla from the East that was Godzilla Vs. Megalon.

6. Words descended like locusts and frogs upon the newsgroup saying "Look at
this Godzilla!" and "Look at that Godzilla!" Those who were pleased with the
Godzilla from the West set their hearts against the Godzilla from the East.

7. Then came the revelation that the stiff-necked false prophets Dev-Lin and
Em-Mer-Ich were preparing to unleash the Godzilla of the West yet again another
time and soon came the astoniment that the hard-hearted To-Ho had prophesied a
beast of mystery from the East, a Godzilla Millennium. The shapes and forms of
both these prophesied Godzillas were unknown and there was much confusion and
murmuring in the newsgroup from all sides in all directions.

8. Many tongues said Godzilla will fight another beast or that Godzilla will be
a flying beast, and chaos was upon the posting of the newsgroup. Those who had
said much, said little, and those that knew little, said much. Even Barry, High
Priest of the Temple, withdrew to his own counsel and spake little.

9. Many tongues said much but signified little, and after all the words fell
like stones in the passageways of alt.movies.monster, there was naught for the
eyes to see.

10. After considering all these signs, OtiGoji cried out, "To-Ho, why hast thou
forsaken my remake of the Mysterians?" After tearing at the little hair left of
his worried head, OtiGoji sayeth, "Patooey," and, led by the two dogs of truth,
wandered yet once again back up into the Hills that are in Hollywood and the
Caves called Bronson.

[The Book commonly called the Book of The Old Fart Sniveling]

1. Yet, once again, I saith unto thee, I have walked to and fro in this
newsgroup, and that which I have seen bringeth grief to mine own eyes. I have
seen the wickedness that hath brought down this newsgroup to the mess that left
where ever He-Do-Rah , that is the Smog Monster, hath gone. Yea verily, I saith
unto you this newsgroup like a pit of sludge. Wickedness is upon the threads
and unclean spirits are lain down in the posts.

2. In the olden times, in the days before OtiGoji was visited by vexation,
there was Go-Ji-Ra, that is Godzilla, and only the old ones knew of it, that is
Godzilla. In those olden times there were televisions that were without color,
that is in the black and the white, with many shades of grey. In those days,
without color, that is all things, yea Ra-Don, that is Rodan and even those
masked Mysterians were in the black and the white with many shades of grey.

3. In those olden times, before color, there were those who watched Godzilla
and saw it was good. The horror and fear of the Japanese people was now upon
us, with our wealth and our bounty of food and clothing and streets that were
unbombed we knew not the horror of conventional warfare, aerial bombardment or
that which is the horror of nuclear weapons. By gazing upon the image of
Godzilla we gradually came to know the face of warfare, and all that it taketh
from the many, the innocent and the children.

4. As the years passed, there were fewer and fewer who remembered the warfare
and, the years of fat came and, behold! A television that was in color was
delivered to the houses of many. And as the many saw the television in color,
there were fewer who remember the stark terror that was Godzilla in the black
and the white and the shades of grey.

5. And then there came to the theaters of many the apparition that was King-u
Kong-u, that is King King Vs. Godzilla and many saw the colors and said they
were good. A few of the old ones saw this and proclaimed it stinketh mightily
and hath an odor that none may abide.

6. And after the colors had descended upon the land, many monsters came forth
over the time of decades and generations. The children of these generations
looked upon the Godzilla Vs. Gai-Gan, that is Gigan, and said it was good, and
a generation later there were those who looked upon Godzilla Vs. Biollante and
said it was very good. There were still the few old ones who remembered the
black and the white and the many shades of grey that were the vision of
Godzilla of olden times.

7. For many years new apparitions of monsters were revealed by the tapes that
are as bootlegs and all was well throughout the land. Then word spread from the
east to the west that a new Godzilla that was not Godzilla was prophesied. And
from Culver City came a weird omen that a new Godzilla would rise in the west,
as unnaturally as a new sun rising in the west.

8. Then, there came the false prophets, the two who are Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich,
and behind them stood Centropolis, and behind them stood TriStar, and behind
stood the mighty Sony, whose strength was such that the great were made to seem
cheesy and the mite was made to seem like a behemoth. Confusion befell the
tribes that are G-Fans and there was much confusion in the land. Many Godzillas
were prophesied and many G-Fans fell upon eachother in the confusion and there
was much acrimony. Enough confusion and acrimony to take home in a bag that is
a doggy-bag.

9. The false prophets Dev-Lin and Em-Mer-Ich saith "Look here! Look there! We
respect Godzilla, but Godzilla is not Godzilla!" And, lo and behold, the false
prophets produced a False-Godzilla and saith "Look here! Look there! For our
own False-Godzilla is the real Godzilla."

10. The new False-Godzilla rose from Culver City and descended on the screens
of seven thousand, and madness came over the land like a plague of frogs. There
were those who fled from the screens to the workplace and murmured around the
water cooler that Godzilla who is the False-Godzilla doth stinketh. The madness
of the False-Godzilla brought confusion and acrimony into the land. Acrimony
such as has never been seen before in the newsgroup.

11. The madness continued until there were those who chattered, the Godzilla of
Olden Days, of the black and the white and the shades of grey, the Godzilla who
is Godzilla was unclean, an an abomination to be reviled, scorned and cast out
into the darkness.

12. Verily, verily, I saith unto you that the false prophets crawling out of
the woodwork into the newsgroup are confused and another generation may pass
away until righteousness is restored in the land. Until the return of
righteousness, OtiGoji continues to walk to and fro through the newsgroups, and
the wise will recognize him by the two hounds of truth that preceed him.

13. Verily, verily I saith unto you, stay skeptical, and think twice, sleep on
it, and think yet again two more times. Then think about it.